Create Your Own Blessing Way

A Blessing Way is a wonderful alternative to the traditional 'baby shower' that is held for a woman approaching birth. Traditionally, a woman invites those people closest to her, in whose friendship and wisdom she trusts. You can invite friends to bring a plate of food and/or a gift if you like, but a special ceremony as part of your day in the central feature of a blessing way.

History of Blessing Ways

Blessing ways are traditional to North American Indian’s who mark the transition a woman makes when she moves from maiden to mother. This rite of passage is the second ‘blood rite’ for a woman, the first being her first menstruation. It is a time of receiving for the mother to be, a time where she is nurtured and honoured by her community of women.

The Blessing Way ceremony acknowledges the commitment and energy involved in being a mother and gives her a time where all the energy is available for her to receive. This ceremony can be given to a woman each time she has a child, as with each child comes a new level of commitment and surrender. The key is for the ‘mother to be’ to allow herself to receive and ‘fill her cup’ as deeply as possible. The blessing way is also a powerful way to assist in the mother’s preparation for birth. It gives other mothers present in the circle the opportunity to share experiences. Often it is a time when the ‘mother to be’ can express any fears or worries in a safe and sacred setting and receive the support she needs.

Here are some ideas that you can include in your special day as you create your own, personal ‘ Blessing Way’

¥ Bead Ceremony – Each woman is asked to bring a bead for a blessing necklace. At some time during the ceremony a bowl is handed around the circle and each woman gives her bead and a blessing for mother and baby. At the end of the ceremony one of the women threads the beads together and gives the necklace to the mother to have with her during the birth. This gives the mother to be a connection to all her women friends when she is birthing.

¥ Binding of the wrists – The woman running the ritual brings a real of wool or fine thread. This is bound around each woman’s left wrist by the woman who sits to the left of her, as each woman binds the thread on the other woman’s wrist she says ‘ from women we were born into this circle, from women we were born unto this earth’.

This ritual is symbolic of the thread that connects us all as women. It also keeps each women tuned into the birthing mother as she leads up to her time. When she goes into labour, all women in her circle are contacted through the phone tree and each woman breaks the thread and sends a blessing for an easy birth. This circle of women can then be contacted once the baby is born and be invited to support the mother in practical way that allow a new mother to relax and bond with her baby, which is her priority right now.

¥ Massaging the Mother – Take along some lush, pregnancy friendly, massage oils and be sure to give her the full treatment with as many women as possible joining in. Brush her hair, give her a facial, whatever indulgence she wants.

¥ Flowers – Flowers are symbolic of natures’ abundance and beauty just as a woman is when she is in her full pregnant bloom. Be sure to ask all women to bring flowers and create a beautiful alter with them. A flower crown is a beautiful thing to have for the mother.

¥ Singing – The singing of songs to celebrate woman, pregnancy and birth is a beautiful way to honour and share at a blessing way. Each women may bring a song or poem or instrument to play, or you may have a talented friend who can lead the group in song.

¥ Post Birth Support – On the day of the Blessing Way Ceremony have a close friend take the names and contact details of each woman present to be put on a ‘support roster’ for bringing meals after the birth. Each woman brings one meal (ensuring the ingredients are breast feeding friendly) to the new mother and helps out in any way she can when she drops it off – eg dishwashing, clothes washing etc… This support is invaluable for the new mum at a big transition time in her life.

Add your own ideas inspired by this list that creates a day that suits your own personality and celebrates your unique wisdom and experience!