After finding out I was pregnant I immediately began researching everything I could about birth and pregnancy, because I knew absolutely nothing! I looked at all sorts of options, including hospital birth, waterbirth and birthing centres. After finding that the local birth centre, which only accepted 'lowrisk' women, still had a transfer rate of one in three, I decided on a homebirth. I was fit and healthy and just had an assumption and an expectation that everything would go well. I figured my body knew what to do and I just had to keep myself and other people from interfering with it unnecessarily.

I also wanted to keep an open mind about the birth and be flexible enough to just 'go with the flow'. I saw my research as the collecting of tools which would be available for me to use when the time came - without having my mind set on one particular way of giving birth.

My estimated due date came and went and 8-10 days later (depending on whose calculations you use) I woke up at 1am with low back pain. Initially I thought it was due to the swimming I had done the day before, but it was somehow different, and when I looked at the clock I realized the pains were regularly 10 minutes apart. When I had a show about an hour later I was relieved to be on my way. I was very tired of being hugely pregnant (I gained 25kg!), and I really wanted to meet my baby. So at 2am I did the dishes, tidied the kitchen, and then went back to bed and slept on and off till 7am.

About 7am I got up and made a few phone calls. I rang my girlfriend Janet who lives 2 hours away and asked her if she wanted to come to my place.(All through the pregnancy I hadn't been able to decide whether or not I wanted to have anyone other than John and I and the midwives present, so I had asked Janet to be 'on standby'. At the last minute I decided that I would really love her to be a part of this special day.) Janet also had the job of ringing everyone on the phone tree who was going to light candles and say blessings as I went through labour. I also rang Sue, my midwife/birthsupport, and told her what was going on.

I then rang my mother who lives overseas to let her know her first grandchild was on their way. We don't talk on the phone very often, so she started chatting and half an hour later she was still talking. I kept saying, "Mum, I have to go now", but she kept talking! Finally she said, "You know it's great that you're in labour and you're sitting there talking to me." I just laughed and said, "Mum, I'm NOT sitting!" I had been pacing up and down the room, and bending over - I was definitely not sitting down!

My partner John began filling the birthing pool, which had been waiting in our lounge room for weeks. I was really excited about using it during labour, as I love the water. I didn't have my heart set on a waterbirth, as I didn't know how I was going to feel at the time, but at least it was option if I wanted it. For a while I lay in the lounge room on my side, listening to music. During most of the expansions/contractions I found the most comfortable place to be was lying on my side relaxing, which was a position I had not really expected to be in. Janet, Sue and my other midwife/birthsupport, Penny, arrived just before lunch and about that time I moved to the bedroom - again lying quietly on my side. Sue and Penny popped their heads in now and again to see if I needed anything, but I was really happy just being left alone. At one point Sue checked me and I was 5cm dilated. I was glad she said that. I wouldn't have been pleased if it had only been a cm or two. It was good to have a gauge of where I was - half way. My body was working reasonably hard, but it was not painful if I breathed slowly and relaxed.

Somewhere in middle to late afternoon I moved out onto the veranda, leaning over the back of a chair and onto the railing. It was a beautiful day and I loved looking at the sun and sky and trees. At this time I would have liked to get in the pool for a bit, but although it was full it wasn't warm enough yet. I'm not sure how long I was on the veranda. It was at least till 4pm as I remember my neighbour coming home from work and I was aware of him walking up his driveway. He just smiled and waved! Janet was tickling my back between expansions which felt wonderful. Unfortunately she had to leave, so I asked her to show John what she was doing. I’m sure he did just what she told him, but as soon as he touched me it intensified everything and he had to stop. It was just too much!

Then Sue said she was leaving for a while, as she thought I was still a ways off. I said OK, but was aware that she didn't actually go. I was hanging quietly over the veranda railing, but my shoulders were shaking pretty hard with each expansion. (She said later this was why she stayed.) I had spent almost the whole day lying quietly on my side and apparently Sue thought I was mostly asleep. Not a chance! Just breathing and relaxing and letting my body do its thing. But so far, nothing that I would describe as pain.

At about 5.30pm I headed for the toilet and my body decided it was time for everything to leave the building! I vomited a whole lot of watermelon I had eaten in the afternoon (it seemed like a good idea at the time!) and had diarrhoea too. (When baby was born there were no forewaters, so we think they broke at this time, but aren’t sure.) It felt great to empty my body – I felt cleansed. It was definitely time to get in the pool.

Almost as soon as I got into the pool my body began pushing. I had no 'urge' to push – my body just did it by itself. I was on all fours and didn’t want to move unless absolutely necessary. Now it was getting pretty intense! I was thinking of all the stories of three pushes and out comes the baby, so I asked Sue, "How many will I need to do?" She just smiled and said, “Oh, are you a numbers girl are you?” You bet I am!! And sometimes my partner John says just the right thing “As many as you need,” was his comment. An hour and a half later I was still pushing! And it was definitely helping to moan with each exhalation.

Sue suggested that it might be time to get out of the pool and have a change of position. A good idea, but it took me a while before I could gather the strength to move. It seemed like a marathon effort to get out. Beside the pool I was still on all fours, but I really needed to be more upright. Damm, I had to move again! As I was getting ready, Sue brought a mirror so I could see baby’s head. This was really helpful as I knew he was almost here. The idea was that John would sit on a chair and I would sit in his lap and lean back against him. This was a great place for John to be, as he is really squeamish and was worried about seeing blood! As soon as I sat up (well, kind of ‘up’ – John was supporting most of my weight) I knew baby would be born very soon! It was really intense. I finally added some of my own conscious pushing, as I didn't think I could maintain the position for long. With some final pushing, grunting and a swearword or two, baby Kai was born at 7.30pm - with a big gush and rush all over his father’s feet! He was about 3kg and all long, gangly arms and legs. A beautiful, perfect, peaceful little being, who we grow more in love with every day.

Penny took some photos and lit some candles and I got back into the pool, along with Kai and John, so that I could birth the placenta and so Kai could have a floaty, peaceful beginning. The placenta took about 40 minutes, so then it was a nice warm shower for me and straight into my own bed. John cut the cord about 2 hours later, and I was also grateful I had no tearing - just a few little grazes.

About 5 days after Kai was born, I went down to the ocean. It was a beautiful calm day and I just relaxed in the water, closed my eyes, and floated. And then I started to laugh! And I couldn’t stop! I was relieved, I was ecstatic, I was grateful. I couldn’t believe that we had experienced a birth that lots of people had told me wasn’t possible. A beautiful, peaceful, relaxed, drug-free home birth.