Alyssa was about 12 days past due and had felt ready for the labour for all of the 12 days. We had tried everything that was recommended to us to help ignite the labour but all to no avail. The curries didn’t work but were thoroughly enjoyed, ditto for the sex. Then when scary movies failed as well, Alyssa tried acupuncture and massage…. Nope. A few long walks and house cleaning sessions later, Alyssa resigned to let the doctors intervene. It was just getting too close to the 2-week over-baked time. This was not a decision we came to lightly. Alyssa hoped to have a completely natural childbirth without medical intervention. We had our fingers crossed that artificially rupturing the membranes would be the only necessary intervention.
So on the morning of Wednesday October 29, 2003, we drove to the Royal North Shore Hospital where we were booked in to the birthing centre. Alyssa was admitted and hooked up the baby heart monitor to make sure everything was ok. Then at 9:15 a doctor broke Alyssa’s waters. The doctor wanted to give Alyssa 4 hours to get into labour on her own before starting an oxytocin drip to really get the contractions going so we were hoping that things would start moving. And move they did. Within a few minutes, Alyssa started feeling strong Braxton-Hicks contractions that accelerated into pre-labour within an hour. In hindsight, I can say that at the beginning of the day I was expecting to be moved out of the birthing centre and put onto the drip so I was really excited about how things had started. A little while later around eleven, the midwife suggested a walk might help. Alyssa was all too keen for a bit of fresh air so we left the birthing centre for a journey that took us to the graveyard beside the hospital.
Now some may call this morbid, but I thought it was a great metaphor for the circle of life. Here we were about to give birth to a new entity walking amongst and getting assistance from the peacefulness of so many experienced lives. The overgrown wildflowers seemed especially vibrant on this spring day and Alyssa found a gentle strength in watching them open to display their brilliant colours in the warming sun. She was able to walk at her own pace and stop to rest through contractions whenever she needed with lots of trees, benches, etc to lean on. I tried to distract Alyssa’s attention between contractions by pointing out interesting and beautiful things but I’m not really sure how successful I was. Soon the constant drip of her leaking amniotic fluid compounded with the increasing intensity of the contractions signaled that the end of the walk was nearing so we circled back to the birthing centre.
A half hour later at one o clock the midwife told Alyssa that she was a lucky girl because she was dilated to 5 centimeters and the contractions were strong and frequent enough to be considered proper labour. So as long as she progressed at least 1 cm per hour they wouldn’t recommend the oxcytocin and would let us stay in the birthing centre. I tried to encourage Alyssa saying that she was halfway there and that things were happening just has they were supposed to, but I’m not sure how consoling this actually was. By now Alyssa’s contractions were coming hard and frequently. We even tried to time them at one point to see if we could help predict them but they were all over the place and many had double and triple peaks. I could see how intense they were as her muscles shook with acute pain. Alyssa was having a hard time finding any respite full stop. While certain positions offered less pain the intervals between contractions were still severely intense. Shortly both the midwife and myself suggested a bath and Alyssa was happy to have anyone tell her what to do as it was taking the full measure of her concentration to just keep her breathing deep and slow. It took some time for Alyssa to move the 5 metres to the bath as she was interrupted every few steps and had to stop to hang on to whatever was closest. As she slowly knelt into the bath though, she was visibly grateful to feel the warm water embrace her lower back. The contractions were still coming but the heat and lack of gravity was helping her to relax outside of the waves of pain. She was even able to lie on her back to allow all of her muscles some relief. Sometimes after a contraction, I let her know that she was that much closer to the end of it… one more contraction that was only a memory.
It was about this time that I almost lost the plot. As the contractions wracked Alyssa’s body, I was finding it increasingly difficult to watch her pain. I remember feeling an overwhelming feeling of admiration and pride for her courage and I was having a difficult time containing this. I could feel my body tensing with her contractions. It was so strong that the only thing that kept me from turning into a blubbering idiot was closing my eyes and just concentrating on holding on to her, just providing her with physical support. I tried to console Alyssa by saying that things were going really well and that she was doing great. This helped me to keep things in perspective and to attune my mind to the big picture.
After only about 30 minutes total time in the bath, the midwife noticed a change in Alyssa’s breathing and asked her if she was feeling an urge to push, which she acknowledged. The midwife did a quick check between contractions and confirmed that, “its time to get out of the bath.” We helped Alyssa out of the bath and within a couple of minutes a couple more midwives came in to help. I was so amazed that it was all happening, that it was all I could do to keep pace. A birthing stool was brought in and eventually we got Alyssa on to it so that gravity could help out a bit. Now the midwives were having Alyssa bear down and push as she felt the urges during contractions. Within minutes the head was crowning. The midwives kept checking the baby’s heart rate between contractions and as the baby progressed through the birth canal they started to have difficulty detecting it. I could tell this made them antsy, as they wanted the baby to come out soon and spend as little time as possible in such a tight passage. Alyssa picked up on this straight away and valiantly closed her eyes and concentrated for the next few minutes on the only thing possible.
As I was going to be helping with the delivery, the midwife asked if I wanted gloves but I said I was happy not to use them if it was ok. She had me come over to the other side and kneel down next her. Then after one mighty push, a small head spattered with blood and a white pasty substance came through. The midwives checked the neck for the umbilical cord and then showed me where and how to hold my hands. With one hand on the forehead and one hand on the back of the head and the midwives hands guiding mine, we moved the head down, and then down, and then down again to get one of the broad shoulders out, and then back up for the other one. Just like that, the rest of the baby slipped easily out and we placed it straight on to Alyssa’s chest with a towel over it. There was a quick cry as the baby’s compressed lungs filled with air for the first time and then silence. Beneath the blonde hair streaked with blood, a pair of deep blue eyes looked around intently past a squished nose.
It was such a calming experience, that it wasn’t until Alyssa asked if it was a boy or girl, that we all realized we hadn’t checked. A quick peek under the blanket revealed a beautiful baby girl! I was so excited that I practically forgot that we weren’t over yet. The midwives recommended a shot of oxytocin to help prevent Alyssa’s uterus from packing up too soon and it would also help to minimize any blood loss from the uterus. Alyssa also had a little tearing and would require stitches. Because of this, we also elected to follow their recommendation to cut the umbilical cord earlier than we had originally planned to expedite Alyssa’s recovery process. This task fell to me and I have to say that even though it seemed easy, it was with reverence that I severed the physical bond between the mother and child and celebrated the official beginning of my daughter’s life.
The rest of the day is a blur of measurements, stitches and elated phone calls. Head 34.5 cm… Mum it’s a girl!!! Weight 3.9 kilos… You have a granddaughter!!! Length 52 cm… Spread the news!!! We named her Kaia Rose. Alyssa had a shower and in no time had actually walked on her own out of the birthing centre and downstairs to the maternity ward. A visit from one set of proud grandparents and an excited sleep later, we were taking our baby girl home.
I remember watching all of the people walking around the streets as we drove home from the hospital and thinking that each of these people went through such an amazing experience too. Soon Kaia would be as old as that schoolgirl, then perhaps grow up like that smartly dressed businesswoman, and perhaps have children like that mother, then later be helped across the street like that grandmother. It was just wonderful to see the start of a new circle of life and know that it will be a part of my circle too.
It is such a surreal feeling as I think back on the experience now. I cannot express the awe and amazement that I have for the birthing process and the woman’s body. In only a few hours a little child went from living so dependently inside of the mother’s body to a independently breathing girl. It was such a powerful and moving experience yet at the same time it occurred so naturally and intuitively. I felt somehow connected with all the people who were experiencing the birth process. It affected me more deeply than I ever could have imagined.
Dave
