“Breastfeeding is a loving, intimate, sensual experience for mother and baby which Dad can enjoy being part of too”.

As new parents you have already shared a journey of discovery through the conception, pregnancy and birth of your baby. The closeness and tenderness many couples feel at this time is the beginning of an even greater journey of parenting. Sharing in the day-to-day care of your baby is all part of the bonding experience which can enhance your relationship and help you stay in love.

Fathers of breastfed babies say it’s reassuring to know their child is getting the most natural and wholesome food in the world. From a practical point of view, being able to enjoy time together with their partner and baby for spontaneous outings – such as a walk on the beach or a bite to eat – without having to prepare bottles and formula is an added advantage.

Breastfeeding is often seen as the exclusive role of the mother. This is true from a physiological point of view, with the breastfeeding hormones all working together to ensure your baby is receiving the best nourishment. However, these hormones can also provide an environment of loving connection for the whole family.

Oxytocin – is responsible for the let-down reflex when you are breastfeeding your baby. This creates feelings of relaxation and connection; helping the nursing mother to feel calmer and less stressed. Oxytocin – known as the LOVE hormone – creates the feelings of bliss or post-birth ‘high’ new mothers often experience when they hold their baby. This is the same hormone which is released through love-making and orgasm.

Oxytocin combines with Prolactin (the mothering hormone) when breastfeeding, this has a relaxing effect on the mother and enhances the desire for contact with her baby and her natural mothering abilities.

Fathers often gain new love and respect for their partners when they witness the loving ritual of breastfeeding. If they were not breastfed themselves, it can even be a healing experience for them. Matthew, a new father comments – “For me, being a father again (after 15 years) it’s been an ongoing joy watching the interaction and bonding of mother and daughter in the breastfeeding process, as well as being very healing.” He continues “With my partner being a mature mother, I can only surmise that the awareness and peacefulness she has within herself, is a contributing factor, as to why she is so naturally at ease with her body and therefore, her breastfeeding.”

Breastfeeding is an opportunity to rediscover your body in a new way, to enjoy a new sense of intimacy and openness, with more awareness of the amazing gift of motherhood and your body’s natural ability to nurture your baby.

Skin-to-skin contact is a natural part of the experience of breastfeeding for mother and baby which fathers can enjoy too. Mum, Dad and baby all snuggling up together for the bedtime feed is a beautiful way to connect at the end of the day. Sensuality, intimacy, connection and even bliss, are all feelings that mother and baby may experience whilst nursing. Most new mothers enjoy closeness, gentle touch or a soothing massage from their partner, even if they do not feel particularly sexual. This intimacy may lead to love-making which, when approached sensitively, can become a nurturing and fulfilling experience. Couples often report new tenderness and sensitivity in their love-making following the birth of their baby. Sharing open to communication, loving connection, the tears as well as the joys are all part of a growing relationship as parents. Breastfeeding your baby is another expression of love which can bring you even closer together as a couple.

 

C. Anna Watts 2007 Anna Watts is a Childbirth Educator and Counsellor, supporting pregnant women and their families since 1990. Anna facilitates regular ‘Celebration of Birth’ weekends for pregnant women and their partners in Byron Bay and Sydney – www.celebrationofbirth.com